THE DAILY POST: ROARING LAUGHTER JULY 7, 2014
http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/roaring-laughter/ What was the last thing that gave you a real, authentic, tearful, hearty belly laugh? Why was it so funny?
9.30am Saturday morning, a beautiful sunny day, all I have to do is decorate a birthday cake for our five year old granddaughter, we don’t have to leave for the party until 3.30pm. Hubby is about to leave to collect some offered wood, free firewood being hard to come by should be collected as soon as possible.
Our daughter and I are chatting on the computer before she goes shopping for ingredients to complete a casserole she’s taking to the party. Out of the blue I hear
May! I need help … Slips is in next door’s yard … can you give me a hand please,
Quickly relaying this event to Sunny, I join Hubby at the fence, sure enough there’s slips, our two year old Dorper sheep happily grazing in the yard next door, nearby a dip in the fence suggesting his means of entry. Hubby’s in a quandary as this is one large sheep that has no intention of coming near us.
Here you take his lead May he may come to you … I’ll go get some feed he’ll come for that.
Sweet talking him gets him over to me, attempting to slip the lead over his head scares him off, hubby arrives with the food and seeing Sunny (who has come out to watch the fun) asks.
Can you ring next doors and let them know what’s going on in their back yard… Hubby and I climb through the fence,
I rang them, can I do anything to help Dad? … Yes please, Mum and I won’t be able to do it alone.
Hang on a min I’ll get some sturdy shoes on… she disappears inside only to return a few minutes later in work shoes and an old jumper over her good gear.
Approaching Slips and offering the food, then just as the animal goes to feed Hubby, with all the agility of someone well past their prime, lunges grabbing hands full of wool, the suddenness of this attack causes Slips to take off. Hubby now laying across his back clinging with all his might, berating him with a full vocabulary of swear words while trying to bring this well fed sheep to ground.
Hubby’s having trouble holding Slips down … Bloody hell Dad, be careful, hold him, I’ll come in there,
Hell! … grab his bloody front feet May, Sunny you grab his back legs’ and hold him for gods sake,
Sunny’s grinning like a fool … We should have the camera going it’s funnier than Funniest Home Movies … God I hope no one’s watching this and calling the RSPCA,
The thought cracking me up into in a fit of the giggles, we now have poor Slips pinned down,
What now Dad? … How the bloody hell would I know I don’t even know how to get out of this friggen place, even if I did the stupid sheep won’t lead, he’ll just jump around and there’s no way of holding him.
How about we get the wheelbarrow and wheel him home? … That remark earning me a look that says if you can’t talk sense shut up.
I told you I don’t know the way through this place…Dad if we get him over to where he came through the fence, could we lift him back over?
Buggered if I know, but I need something to tie his feet together, you two keep holding him down while I get something, don’t let the bugger go.
Both crouching down with a death grip on poor Slip’s legs giggling fit to burst,
God he can kick, he got me a beauty on the shin, its gunna have a terrific bruise hope I can drive. I gotta go get the stuff for the casserole…You’ll make it, but I’m not sure how the hell we’re gunna get Slips back, Dad’s not happy,
How ya hands holding up Mum, you ok?… Oh they’re doing ok thanks love.
He returns with enough rope to hogtie a ruddy wild bull, and proceeds to tie the front feet together.
Oh for god’s sake Hubs you’re not in a bloody Rodeo, he doesn’t need to be so bound up.
Dragging and pulling we manage to get Slips to the fence line without damage,
Mum! … stop laughing,
All trying to lift poor helpless Slip’s is hopeless, we can’t even raise him an inch off the ground. I’m lost, tears running down my face while grasping my aching stomach, caused from laughing.
Slips starts to buck and wriggle around… Muzz watch it … too late I cop a kick right in the inner thigh muscle.
Sunny you drop on top of him and hold him steady … Hang on! I have a cramp in my bloody leg, I’m getting up to ease it.
Drop on him Sunny, come on … Dancing around not sure where to drop, down she goes trying not to actually squash him, the wriggling stops.
Dad as we can’t lift him what if you get the wheelbarrow, could we get him in that and maybe roll him over the fence where he came through?
S**t, the bloody barrow’s full of wood, I’ll have to empty the confounded thing, you two hold him there, I won’t be long … he wanders off muttering who-knows-what, about bloody sheep.
This is lovely, can you just see their faces at school tomorrow when they ask … And what did you do over the weekend Sunny? … Oh nothing much just rolled around in next doors yard with Mum, Dad and Mum’s pet sheep, … we are both a giggling mess when Hubby returns with the empty barrow and lifts it over the fence with difficulty.
Tipping it on its side hard up against Slips’s back so we could roll him into it, between the three of us this was accomplished with a lot of laughing, (from we two girls only) huffing and puffing. The barrow is lined up against the fence as all together we roll and push him under the top wire.
Oh bugger I pushed my hand up his backside and that’s not something one should do unless you’re wearing rubber gloves … Sunny that’s not a nice thing to say, but it’s ok love I won’t tell anyone I promise,
Amid a new round of laugher we actually get him through and land him softly on our side of the fence, untying his legs and gently getting him to his feet, he wanders off as if it was a normal event in his life.
Well I’m off to get the bloody wood if there’s any left,
Ok, I’ll ring next doors and tell them we’ve finished, then I’m off to have a shower again before I go shopping, I stink of sheep.
And I’m going home to decorate the birthday cake.