If damn Mary doesn’t get here soon I’ll just leave, this isn’t my idea of fun sitting alone in a bar, let alone waiting to meet her ruddy brother whose praises she has been singing for the past 6 months, no bloke’s that good.
I wish that fool would stop looking at me like that, he doesn’t realise that I can see him in the mirror over the bar, Damn!! I knew it, he’s heading this way.
Quickly placing my purse on the seat next to me he plops down one up, as if this action has triggered it off, my mobile starts to sing for attention. Snatching up my bag to answer the offending item, as if on cue he slides across next to me with a hearty Hello pretty lady, almost falling, but is able to steady himself with one hand on the bar while clasping a half-finished drink in the other, albeit he manages to spill most of it all over my new slacks.
Jumping up with mobile clamped to my ear listening to Mary saying they’re on their way please wait, and glaring at the sodden stranger, I hiss with ira, well you can’t miss me I’m the one at the bar that’s covered in second hand booze. Shoving the phone in my bag I notice the free hand of the stranger coming at me clasping a hanky, with I assume intentions of trying to mop me up, I mutter through clenched teeth Don’t even think about it if you have plans of ever using that bloody hand again. I head for the ladies room to try to repair the damage, with sounds of garbled apologies ringing in my ears, which he hasn’t stopped verbalising at the top of his voice since the violative incident.
Returning after a quarter hour of drying my slacks under the hand dryer, I’m now ready to punch out the drunken idiot. I see he has gathered a crowd around him as he tries to explain how it wasn’t his fault, pretty girls always leave him feeling clumsy and uncoordinated. Oh for goodness sake! As for Mary and her mob, she’s gunna pay big time for keeping me waiting.
Ducking down I slip behind the guffawing crowd to a further corner seat to wait the arrival of the late comers. Discreetly watching the group around the drunk, I notice one chap (actually the barman) nodding his head and then slowly start to look around the room, this action has me shifting my gaze to the door and praying that Mary will magically appear. A very polite quietly spoken, excuse me Miss, mind if I have a word? has me spinning around to face the barman, nodding my consent, he asks if I was the one that got the drink spilt all over her, yes, what of it? I snap. Good, name’s Brian by the way, and the chap has requested that he be able to apologise and explain the situation, he has promised that once done he will not bother you again, I‘ll be there to make sure he doesn’t. Fully aware this man is trying not to laugh, and anything to put an end to this embarrassing fiasco I reluctantly get up and go to the waiting group, every one taking a step back as I front the fool.
On close inspection, I notice he has a rather pleasant face, and is so nicely dressed he doesn’t look like the usual drunken bum that chafes woman alone in a pub. Ok! I’ve had enough of you to last a lifetime, so if you want to say something make it quick. Trying to stand straight with imagined dignity he raises apologetic eyes to mine, I just wanted to say I’m really very sorry pretty lady, I don’t normally drink, I’ve been waiting here to meet my sister who’s set me up with a blind date, and truth be known she couldn’t pick a winner if it was a one horse race. I got here early and decided the best way to get through the ordeal was to down a few quickies before they arrived, I am sooooooooooo sorry. Before I could give him a piece of my mind I hear an excited shout, oh Timmy you’ve already introduced yourself to Liz how nice, sorry we’re late, but so glad to see you two getting to know each other.